This is the third and final volume, and it's "Support your Child to Reach His/Her Maximum Potential."
There are a total of nine pictures in this book. One is of skating judges, looking serious, next to an article on how the International Judging System Works. This was actually pretty informative, in that I know what the acronyms stand for and what the judges were looking for on each mark. I'm still clueless about specifics, but I don't think I'm alone in that. One is of a woman sleeping, next to an outlay of sleep and nutrition requirements. I presume that she is not sleeping past six am. Two are of people exercising, in an article about Off-Ice training. Yes, you have to think about it when you're not at the rink, too. The rest of the pictures are of Star Skaters.
This one is the most serious of the three, and it's more of a testament to how fast skating can take over your life. In the first volume it was all shiny pictures of happy toddlers splayed on the ice, and this one details 2,500 calorie meal plans and fitness regimens to maintain through the off-season, into the pre-season and during the skating competitive season. There's a chart detailing the levels past Basic Skills, so I know what comes next if we get that far. There's a section on Rink Relations, which seems to apply more to Clubs than individuals, and Basic Ice Usage Etiquette which should be a no-brainer but I can think of a dozen people right off I'd love to give this to.
There's some more Anagrams, one of which is "AFFIRM" which is how to "encourage excellence without being a Pushy Parent." Well, frankly I kind of enjoy being Pushy, so I made my own Pushy Parent Anagram.
P - Prioritize. What's important for right now? Tomorrow? Next week? Next Month? What elements need to be worked on and what can wait? For Stitch, the past two months have been all about Three Turns, with Shoot The Duck coming in a sad "if you can get to it" last on his practice list. What Cool Skating gear does he have to have, versus what can wait because we need to buy basics like Ice and Coach Time?
U - Understand. Understand specific problems.When Stitch says something hurts, something is itchy, or something is wrong, I get him to give me details so I can fix it. Understand what they're doing. I typically get a rundown on elements from Coach whenever something new gets introduced.
S- Sympathize. Falls hurt. Hugs help. Humor helps. But Sympathize. When Stitch says that it's an off day because he's just not feeling it, I Sympathize We all have off days. I don't criticize or nag.
H - Help. Help out Coach, The Rink, Other Parents, Other Kids, whoever needs it. I had fun at the last Ice Show. (The more I complain, the more fun I'm having.) I have fun making costumes, retying skates, offering information to new parents, and encouraging Coach's other kids. I can't wait until Sunday because I get the double bonus of seeing Stitch compete, and then attending the Speed Skating Meet right after. Help cheer on other skaters? And eat popcorn? I'm so there! And ask for Help, too.
Y - Yourself. Be honest with it. If it seems like things seem weird, they probably are. If it feels like I'm stepping out of my bounds, I probably am. I try to take an honest evaluation of myself, and if it feels like I'm lurching towards The Dark Side of Skate Parenting, I step back.
The subtitle of this book is "Enjoy the Process." I've often heard that learning to Figure Skate is akin to running a marathon. This is the most dead on description ever. One day that Three Turn is there and on and great, and the next day it's vanished into the ether. One day the lunge looks like a dog dragged behind a car, and the next week he's Jeremy Abbott with his chest and chin to the stars. An hour later we're back to Dog Drag. It's not like Spelling, where once you get it, you've got it. The Skating skill comes, goes, comes again, stays briefly, goes away, and then it settles in and takes up residence while taking a day's vacation every so often. The frustration I can feel is incredible; "but you just did it, do it again!" This is compounded when relations come from far and wide, standing at the boards with cameras at the ready, trying to capture a one-foot spin that looked so good on Facebook last week but has now gone away for no real reason. They look at me like "where's the stunt double?" I've since decided not to invite family to watch practices.Yes, it's a Process, and a marathon one.
Enjoy this process? Absolutely I want to. The biggest of jugs will fill drop by drop, and so we'll get there the same way. How big is the jug? Buddha also said, "Do not think of how big the universe is, it will merely hurt your head."
I really do recommend that any new skating parent get this series. For the nine bucks (including postage) it's worth it. I did come away with a better understanding of where we are, what's going on, and where we can go from here. I showed this series to another Skating Mom and she declared me crazy.
Tell me something I don't know.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Sanity in the Stands
Last night I got stuck between two skate moms.
Now, I enjoy a good gossip, probably more than I should. But the constant level and degree of veracity that these two were keeping up left me looking up into the ceiling trussing. Someone should go up there with needle and thread to patch the insulation. I'll do it if it will get me away from these two.
At one point I was even defending Stitch about his weak left side, and at another I was fuming at the concept of having boys in the synchro team "to do the lifting." (Not because they can skate.) I heard about every Coach in the room, some not in the room, crap music choices (which I'll freely rail about in relative private but never in the rink) and how I'm "still" doing Group Lessons below the freestyle level. They even knew about how I was considering a Coaching Switch so long ago, and wanted to know why I didn't. I think I disappointed them with my answer, "Because I like Coach so much, and so does Stitch even if he doesn't quite see it yet." (Have a seven year old boy and you'll understand.)
No, I didn't find out some wicked scandal about Other Coach. Sorry.
Little do these Ladies know that I was trained by the Masters of Social Grace and Gossip. The best way to keep yourself out of these conversations, especially when they happen outside of your presence, is to keep your nose clean. Yes, have opinions, have thoughts and feelings, but limit what you do and say in and around the venue. When you're in these conversations about others, don't forget that whatever you say can and will be held against you. So, when a Coach got compared to a Little Viper, I didn't say, "Oh my gosh, yes, she's awful," I simply said, "That's too bad." When another Coach's music choices got slammed, I replied that perhaps the mother should cut music if she wasn't happy.
I didn't demand to know when another Coach got his two medals, because I've been looking for this information for days and can't find it. (Although I did find some awesomely hysterical pictures.) I knew that had the potential of getting back to Coach, and leave Coach wondering why I wanted to know and if I was debating switching. Of course I'm not, but don't open that window. Ya know?
I kept a smile on in the rink and on the way home. Stitch was excited to be in costume, bouncing and spinning and getting excited. I'm glad he did, because I now see where I need to do repairs and touch up work. But I was mad. How dare these women question my choices, Stitch's skating, and tell me he should be in Synchro just to pick up their daughter? Who are they to say that they sometimes have to speak to their Coach "like a child?"
I'm starting to think that the moms who drop their kids off at the door and depart for a coffee elsewhere have the right idea.
Now, I enjoy a good gossip, probably more than I should. But the constant level and degree of veracity that these two were keeping up left me looking up into the ceiling trussing. Someone should go up there with needle and thread to patch the insulation. I'll do it if it will get me away from these two.
At one point I was even defending Stitch about his weak left side, and at another I was fuming at the concept of having boys in the synchro team "to do the lifting." (Not because they can skate.) I heard about every Coach in the room, some not in the room, crap music choices (which I'll freely rail about in relative private but never in the rink) and how I'm "still" doing Group Lessons below the freestyle level. They even knew about how I was considering a Coaching Switch so long ago, and wanted to know why I didn't. I think I disappointed them with my answer, "Because I like Coach so much, and so does Stitch even if he doesn't quite see it yet." (Have a seven year old boy and you'll understand.)
No, I didn't find out some wicked scandal about Other Coach. Sorry.
Little do these Ladies know that I was trained by the Masters of Social Grace and Gossip. The best way to keep yourself out of these conversations, especially when they happen outside of your presence, is to keep your nose clean. Yes, have opinions, have thoughts and feelings, but limit what you do and say in and around the venue. When you're in these conversations about others, don't forget that whatever you say can and will be held against you. So, when a Coach got compared to a Little Viper, I didn't say, "Oh my gosh, yes, she's awful," I simply said, "That's too bad." When another Coach's music choices got slammed, I replied that perhaps the mother should cut music if she wasn't happy.
I didn't demand to know when another Coach got his two medals, because I've been looking for this information for days and can't find it. (Although I did find some awesomely hysterical pictures.) I knew that had the potential of getting back to Coach, and leave Coach wondering why I wanted to know and if I was debating switching. Of course I'm not, but don't open that window. Ya know?
I kept a smile on in the rink and on the way home. Stitch was excited to be in costume, bouncing and spinning and getting excited. I'm glad he did, because I now see where I need to do repairs and touch up work. But I was mad. How dare these women question my choices, Stitch's skating, and tell me he should be in Synchro just to pick up their daughter? Who are they to say that they sometimes have to speak to their Coach "like a child?"
I'm starting to think that the moms who drop their kids off at the door and depart for a coffee elsewhere have the right idea.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
USFS Parent's Guide; Volume 2
This booklet is titled "Keeping it in Perspective." This one is largely dedicated to getting a Coach and Competing. There's fewer lists, fewer pictures, and a lot more directives aimed at you, the Skating Parent.
There are Ten Commandments for Skating Parents. There's a USFS PARENT anagram on page two, complete with a picture of Sasha Cohen.
Then there's a brief outlay of the "Structure of Figure Skating," detailing the up and up on just how you get to the "O" word. Then they give some US Figure Skating records, with mention that the US has won more Olympic figure skating medals than any other country in history. I didn't know that. Is that a testament to the skating or the collective crazy of the Parents? I don't know. They provide a brief detail of the competition and test structure, but since this is just Basic Skills right now, there's no need to really worry about that.
Back to Missives.
A Parent's Responsibility to their Skater. There's eight missives here, including "Learn about the Sport," and "Watch lessons and practices," (HA! Take that, coaches who think I should get lost!) There's a thing here that says, "Don't use the Rink as a babysitter." Really? That it had to be written means that someone did it. "Be a good sport," and "Never destructively criticize, especially in front of others." What? Again, someone does it. This is a lot of common sense, which sadly doesn't seem all that common.
Tips for avoiding Stress and Burnout. In Basic Skills? Do people really burn themselves out this early in the game? "Set aside time for homework." People, this is a no brainer. School comes first. "Know your limits." This isn't just a skating skill, this is a basic life skill. Know when to stop. "Limit activities and commitments." Remember those kids who didn't have time to practice because they were doing a bajillion other things? Yeah. I know what this is about right here.
Then they get to Coaches. Why your skater needs one, what makes one, what to ask them, and how to talk to them. Immediately following the "You should get a Coach!" page is the "CONFLICT MANAGEMENT" page, then "CHANGING COACHES" which warns you that this process is akin to Divorce. I believe that, but the proximity of all these articles together leaves me fearful of how drama-ridden these relationships can be.
They then provide this amazing list of crap I'm sure people have done to switch Coaches. Again, that it got written down means someone did it. The best ones are "Go to the Coach's home uninvited and be confrontational." If anyone is planning this, please let me know so I can sit outside in a lawn chair with a glass of Pinot. "Have the new coach send the old coach a fax." A fax? Carrier Pigeon would be more romantic, with the double message of, "and thanks for all the diseased technique." "Create a scene at the rink." Yes. Please, for the love of god, do this one. Please make a scene, and let me have the first row seat. Throw things, yell, shout obscenity. All these things are wonderful ways to make my entire week.
In all seriousness, let's remember communication etiquette in the modern world.
Note that "Fax" is not even on here. Nor is "just start taking lessons with someone else and not say anything."
Passive Aggressive, much?
A short blurb on understanding Coaching Credentials is certain to make parents go running to the rink and demand to know if their Coach is Level 1 or Level X, and if they aren't Level X can they please say the name of someone who is?And what's your fax number, please?
Preparing a Skater for Entry Level competition. Now they get to it. This article is actually just on the USFS Website, somewhere under Basic Skills. Parents, please note that your involvement with competitions really ends when you sign the form and mail the check. Anything else is just logistics, hugs and post-mortem ice cream. Competitions are really just about the Skater and Coach. Yes, you get bragging rights, but at the end of the day, you didn't skate.You were in the stands with a cold butt.
That having been said, there's some good (but common sense) checklists for comps. Two copies of music, boot polish, a smile, and for the love of pete, your skates. Yes, it is very possible to forget the most indispensable thing. (I once forgot the Gun Prop for a Sam Shepard one-act during a festival. The actor did the whole thing with "gun hand." We lost but it was funny as all hell.)
Then at the back there's a Skating Parent's Code of Conduct. I'm supposed to sign this, but there's no mention of returning it to anyone or anything. It won't go in Stitch's permanent record with USFS. #2 is "I will place the emotional and physical well being of my child ahead of my personal desire to win."
Really? This has to be stated? But I kinda get it. Having your child win, and all the kudos and praise and pretty pictures, the video and trophy, it's all a big delicious cookie. A cookie laced with heroin and crack and a few other nasty things. Yes, more... MOAR!! I found myself showing the pictures of the most recent comp to the clerk at the photo counter. You can get so hung up eating your cookies that you can forget there's a kid and a family and a home somewhere with the cookie jar. Ultimately, you can't have your cookies and your kid, too.
While the guide is full of a lot of common sense, it's probably wise to have it all in one place like this. Restated a billion different ways, perhaps we Crazy Skate Parents will get the message.
There are Ten Commandments for Skating Parents. There's a USFS PARENT anagram on page two, complete with a picture of Sasha Cohen.
Then there's a brief outlay of the "Structure of Figure Skating," detailing the up and up on just how you get to the "O" word. Then they give some US Figure Skating records, with mention that the US has won more Olympic figure skating medals than any other country in history. I didn't know that. Is that a testament to the skating or the collective crazy of the Parents? I don't know. They provide a brief detail of the competition and test structure, but since this is just Basic Skills right now, there's no need to really worry about that.
Back to Missives.
A Parent's Responsibility to their Skater. There's eight missives here, including "Learn about the Sport," and "Watch lessons and practices," (HA! Take that, coaches who think I should get lost!) There's a thing here that says, "Don't use the Rink as a babysitter." Really? That it had to be written means that someone did it. "Be a good sport," and "Never destructively criticize, especially in front of others." What? Again, someone does it. This is a lot of common sense, which sadly doesn't seem all that common.
Learning to use the copier? (You have to look for it.)
Tips for avoiding Stress and Burnout. In Basic Skills? Do people really burn themselves out this early in the game? "Set aside time for homework." People, this is a no brainer. School comes first. "Know your limits." This isn't just a skating skill, this is a basic life skill. Know when to stop. "Limit activities and commitments." Remember those kids who didn't have time to practice because they were doing a bajillion other things? Yeah. I know what this is about right here.
Then they get to Coaches. Why your skater needs one, what makes one, what to ask them, and how to talk to them. Immediately following the "You should get a Coach!" page is the "CONFLICT MANAGEMENT" page, then "CHANGING COACHES" which warns you that this process is akin to Divorce. I believe that, but the proximity of all these articles together leaves me fearful of how drama-ridden these relationships can be.
They then provide this amazing list of crap I'm sure people have done to switch Coaches. Again, that it got written down means someone did it. The best ones are "Go to the Coach's home uninvited and be confrontational." If anyone is planning this, please let me know so I can sit outside in a lawn chair with a glass of Pinot. "Have the new coach send the old coach a fax." A fax? Carrier Pigeon would be more romantic, with the double message of, "and thanks for all the diseased technique." "Create a scene at the rink." Yes. Please, for the love of god, do this one. Please make a scene, and let me have the first row seat. Throw things, yell, shout obscenity. All these things are wonderful ways to make my entire week.
In all seriousness, let's remember communication etiquette in the modern world.
Note that "Fax" is not even on here. Nor is "just start taking lessons with someone else and not say anything."
Passive Aggressive, much?
A short blurb on understanding Coaching Credentials is certain to make parents go running to the rink and demand to know if their Coach is Level 1 or Level X, and if they aren't Level X can they please say the name of someone who is?And what's your fax number, please?
Preparing a Skater for Entry Level competition. Now they get to it. This article is actually just on the USFS Website, somewhere under Basic Skills. Parents, please note that your involvement with competitions really ends when you sign the form and mail the check. Anything else is just logistics, hugs and post-mortem ice cream. Competitions are really just about the Skater and Coach. Yes, you get bragging rights, but at the end of the day, you didn't skate.You were in the stands with a cold butt.
That having been said, there's some good (but common sense) checklists for comps. Two copies of music, boot polish, a smile, and for the love of pete, your skates. Yes, it is very possible to forget the most indispensable thing. (I once forgot the Gun Prop for a Sam Shepard one-act during a festival. The actor did the whole thing with "gun hand." We lost but it was funny as all hell.)
Then at the back there's a Skating Parent's Code of Conduct. I'm supposed to sign this, but there's no mention of returning it to anyone or anything. It won't go in Stitch's permanent record with USFS. #2 is "I will place the emotional and physical well being of my child ahead of my personal desire to win."
Really? This has to be stated? But I kinda get it. Having your child win, and all the kudos and praise and pretty pictures, the video and trophy, it's all a big delicious cookie. A cookie laced with heroin and crack and a few other nasty things. Yes, more... MOAR!! I found myself showing the pictures of the most recent comp to the clerk at the photo counter. You can get so hung up eating your cookies that you can forget there's a kid and a family and a home somewhere with the cookie jar. Ultimately, you can't have your cookies and your kid, too.
While the guide is full of a lot of common sense, it's probably wise to have it all in one place like this. Restated a billion different ways, perhaps we Crazy Skate Parents will get the message.
USFS Parent's Guide; Volume 1
I finally got a chance to look at my new Parent Guides on the train ride home, sipping a Tall Boy and looking at lots of little girls in skate dresses. (One boy.) Volume 1 is a lot of pictures of smiling people. Smiling kids, smiling coaches, smiling pros and smiling folks with medals. It's also a lot of lists. In fact, 50% of this book is a series of lists, do's and don'ts and checklists.
Let's take a look.
The Skating Parent's Checklist:
1. Can you share your son or daughter?
Dear Coach. You have decided to take on Stitch. I hope you like bad puns, cryptic humor, a lawyer-like reasoning why he doesn't have to do any given task, and a memory that will catch you in every fib you forget about. If you can tolerate all this, and yet hear him when he says he wants to skate for a big cheering crowd, he's yours.
2. Can you admit your shortcomings?
Every. Damn. Day.
3. Can you accept your child's disappointments?
Can I teach him to request Shirley Temples at the bar next door?
4. Can you accept your child's triumphs?
Only if I can video it in super high-res, mega definition quality and upload it to Facebook, Youtube, Flickr, Picasa and Vimeo within 24 hours with the tag "FUTURE OLYMPIAN."
5. Can you give your child some time?
Every fraction of a second I can spare, during which I will smother him with big kisses which Coach will have to wipe off his cheek with a tissue, lest he embarrass himself in front of the cute girls.
6. Can you let your child make his own decisions?
Only if they are the right ones.
Guidelines for Supportive Parents:
5. Supportive Parents communicate their concerns directly with the coach. Provided, of course, that the Coach isn't rolling their eyes and only marginally tolerating Parent's presence in the rink at all. Don't you have somewhere else you can be?
8. Supportive Parents avoid the use of fear. "If you don't land that Waltz Jump, there's a cold cot in the closet with your name on it!"
11. Supportive Parents avoid the use of guilt. "No, it's okay. I mean, I only spent $300 for you to get those mohawks. I know you only got second. It's okay. We can eat beans for another few weeks while you work on them. I don't mind. No, no, honey, I can skip lunch."
12. Supportive Parents show empathy for the Young Athlete. "Oh, you like Totoro? It would be a real shame if Totoro got maimed under the car, wouldn't it? You want to reconsider blowing off spin practice? I'm not really attached to Totoro. I know you like to cuddle him as you go to sleep, but cuddles with Totoro don't make national champions, do they?"
One of the Do's here is to "Read the Rulebook." What rulebook? The USFS rulebook? Really? I glanced over it one day when I was slow, and it scared me. Too many big words for my parental addled brain.
Another big theme is "control your emotions." In fact, this is the most often repeated phrase in this book, and one of the most difficult directives for any passionate person to follow. And Skating People are by default Passionate People. Who else was a wonderfully passionate person but kept a head so cool you could ice tea on it?
Yes, this must be you at the rink.. When Princess's mom disses your kid's back crossovers, channel Spock. When other kid snubs your kid's Group Program in the ice show because he's got a solo, channel Spock. When other Coach rudely cuts off your kid's lesson, channel Spock. When your kid does spins in the lobby without hard guards on, channel Spock. Skate Parent = Spock.
Spock wouldn't compare kids against each other. Spock just takes everyone at face value. Spock isn't upset by Other People's Irrational behavior, Spock just gets the job done.
So, what's your job? According to this guide, it's Self-Esteem, Good Habits, Proper Sportsmanship, Emphasizing Fun, Skill Development, and Striving to Win. I like this book because it doesn't pussyfoot around the Winning issue. Why compete if not to win? I know I've said to Stitch that "Skating your best is what is truly important," but let's be real. He wants that damn trophy and he wants "First Place" on it. I want him to win, too. But as Spock, I get the pleasure of taking him home after he inevitably loses, cleaning him up, and still praising him as long as he did his best. Winning can't be the end goal for me, only for Stitch. I'm Spock. Stitch is the only real competitor in this equation.
After reading this book, I have determined that Spock is truly the best Role Model for all Skating Parents. Spock wouldn't question judges, he would see them as the trained and objective volunteers they are. Spock wouldn't nag the Coach, he would just say, "Fascinating." Can you imagine Spock at rinkside, doing The Bird to encourage kids to hold out their arms? No. Would Spock screech at a four year old to "GET BACK IN THERE" after a nasty fall? No.
The next time I get the urge to critique, nag, complain or whine, I'm going to ask myself, "What would Spock do?"
USFS Parent's guide, I am now Spock at the Rink.
Let's take a look.
The Skating Parent's Checklist:
1. Can you share your son or daughter?
Dear Coach. You have decided to take on Stitch. I hope you like bad puns, cryptic humor, a lawyer-like reasoning why he doesn't have to do any given task, and a memory that will catch you in every fib you forget about. If you can tolerate all this, and yet hear him when he says he wants to skate for a big cheering crowd, he's yours.
2. Can you admit your shortcomings?
Every. Damn. Day.
3. Can you accept your child's disappointments?
Can I teach him to request Shirley Temples at the bar next door?
4. Can you accept your child's triumphs?
Only if I can video it in super high-res, mega definition quality and upload it to Facebook, Youtube, Flickr, Picasa and Vimeo within 24 hours with the tag "FUTURE OLYMPIAN."
5. Can you give your child some time?
Every fraction of a second I can spare, during which I will smother him with big kisses which Coach will have to wipe off his cheek with a tissue, lest he embarrass himself in front of the cute girls.
6. Can you let your child make his own decisions?
Only if they are the right ones.
Do not expect this result on the first day. Or the thirtieth day.
Guidelines for Supportive Parents:
5. Supportive Parents communicate their concerns directly with the coach. Provided, of course, that the Coach isn't rolling their eyes and only marginally tolerating Parent's presence in the rink at all. Don't you have somewhere else you can be?
8. Supportive Parents avoid the use of fear. "If you don't land that Waltz Jump, there's a cold cot in the closet with your name on it!"
11. Supportive Parents avoid the use of guilt. "No, it's okay. I mean, I only spent $300 for you to get those mohawks. I know you only got second. It's okay. We can eat beans for another few weeks while you work on them. I don't mind. No, no, honey, I can skip lunch."
12. Supportive Parents show empathy for the Young Athlete. "Oh, you like Totoro? It would be a real shame if Totoro got maimed under the car, wouldn't it? You want to reconsider blowing off spin practice? I'm not really attached to Totoro. I know you like to cuddle him as you go to sleep, but cuddles with Totoro don't make national champions, do they?"
And of course the Boy is the victim of unfortunate numbering.
One of the Do's here is to "Read the Rulebook." What rulebook? The USFS rulebook? Really? I glanced over it one day when I was slow, and it scared me. Too many big words for my parental addled brain.
Another big theme is "control your emotions." In fact, this is the most often repeated phrase in this book, and one of the most difficult directives for any passionate person to follow. And Skating People are by default Passionate People. Who else was a wonderfully passionate person but kept a head so cool you could ice tea on it?
Spock wouldn't compare kids against each other. Spock just takes everyone at face value. Spock isn't upset by Other People's Irrational behavior, Spock just gets the job done.
So, what's your job? According to this guide, it's Self-Esteem, Good Habits, Proper Sportsmanship, Emphasizing Fun, Skill Development, and Striving to Win. I like this book because it doesn't pussyfoot around the Winning issue. Why compete if not to win? I know I've said to Stitch that "Skating your best is what is truly important," but let's be real. He wants that damn trophy and he wants "First Place" on it. I want him to win, too. But as Spock, I get the pleasure of taking him home after he inevitably loses, cleaning him up, and still praising him as long as he did his best. Winning can't be the end goal for me, only for Stitch. I'm Spock. Stitch is the only real competitor in this equation.
After reading this book, I have determined that Spock is truly the best Role Model for all Skating Parents. Spock wouldn't question judges, he would see them as the trained and objective volunteers they are. Spock wouldn't nag the Coach, he would just say, "Fascinating." Can you imagine Spock at rinkside, doing The Bird to encourage kids to hold out their arms? No. Would Spock screech at a four year old to "GET BACK IN THERE" after a nasty fall? No.
The next time I get the urge to critique, nag, complain or whine, I'm going to ask myself, "What would Spock do?"
USFS Parent's guide, I am now Spock at the Rink.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Skate, or Skate Not. There is no Try..
At a recent Public Skate Session I got hijacked by another mother. I'd introduced myself to her awhile ago when I retied her daughter's skates and listened to a short bragging session about her Zuca bag and new Skating Dress. Whatever, your skates are tied wrong.
Imagine my slight shock when I learned her Daughter was stumped at Alpha and Forward Crossovers. (Confession, I can't do crossovers, either. I'm too scared to hold that outside edge. Whenever I've tried, I'm on my ass. I sympathize with daughter even if I do hate her Zuca and Skating dress.) Mom caught me as I was trying to watch Stitch do an Ice Show for me. "He's so good," she says. "How old is he?"
"Seven." I waited for part 2 of the series.
"What level is he?"
Yup. "Just passed Beta."
"My daughter can't get past Alpha. They won't pass her, but she's been doing it forever. She can't get crossovers."
"Crossovers are pretty critical."
"Why?"
At that point my brain broke. "They just are." I don't know, ask the damn coach!
"All her friends are Delta now. It's so frustrating."
"You have to learn crossovers, it can't be skipped. She'll get there."
Then mom looks back at Stitch. "He's so good. How did he get so good? Does he play hockey?"
"No, he just figure skates. But he skates all the time."
"When you say that, what do you mean?"
"He averages six hours a week."
"Oh, so six days a week."
"No, he does an hour's worth of lessons, group and private, and the rest is public skating sessions on weekends."
"What's better, Group or Private lessons?"
Shit, really? "I like doing both."
"But what's better?"
URGH. "If she's having issues with crossovers, then Privates are perfect just for helping with that. Beyond that, it depends on what she wants."
Other Mom didn't like this answer. She glared at Stitch.
"Just bring her to skate," I tried a peace offering. "Just turn her loose on public ice to gain confidence."
"She's already confident."
Clearly, Daughter was not, as her outside edges were short and wobbly. Agan, I totally sympathize, but if you want to do crossovers, you have to jump that gap.
Folks, I don't have any magic buttons or pills that I'm giving Stitch. He just likes to skate, so I bring him to skate. He doesn't always like lessons, but I remind him that if he wants those patches and trophies, then lessons and practice are the only way to get them. And you, Other Parents, if you want your kid to fly around the rink and cavort, then letting them loose is how you do it.
Here are some objections I encounter:
1. But we live far away. (Well, then you've made the decision for your kid without even asking him.)
2. But I work. (Hey, I work, too. I work 45-50 hours a week at a sometimes emotionally draining gig that leaves me limp and dragging by Thursday. But this isn't about you. Suck it up.)
3. But all they do is skate around. (Yes, getting kids to actually practice is hard. But from Tot to Beta, I don't think it matters much. Just skate. Play. Go fast. And you know what? Eventually going around in circles will get boring, at which point they'll begin challenging themselves or decide skating isn't for them. The decision makes itself.)
4. But he/she already does soccer/baseball/cheer/school play/swimming/tennis/pottery/Mandarin. His/her schedule is packed already, there's no time for practice. (Again, you're making decisions without asking the kid. If Daughter has been trying her darndest for thirty weeks to get crossovers, then maybe you two need to sit and discuss where Skating sits on her priorities. If it's high, and it seems to be, cut something to make room.)
5. But what am I supposed to do? (Did you know actively skating burns an incredible amount of calories? And again, this isn't about you. Just don't bug your kid excessively when you skate together. Go your separate ways.)
So, Other Parents, you can hate me all you want, but my only "Secret" is Skate a Lot. Stop whining, stop making excuses, stop being a drag, and just get to public skate sessions and go. If you don't, you've ended everything before you ever really started.
Imagine my slight shock when I learned her Daughter was stumped at Alpha and Forward Crossovers. (Confession, I can't do crossovers, either. I'm too scared to hold that outside edge. Whenever I've tried, I'm on my ass. I sympathize with daughter even if I do hate her Zuca and Skating dress.) Mom caught me as I was trying to watch Stitch do an Ice Show for me. "He's so good," she says. "How old is he?"
"Seven." I waited for part 2 of the series.
"What level is he?"
Yup. "Just passed Beta."
"My daughter can't get past Alpha. They won't pass her, but she's been doing it forever. She can't get crossovers."
"Crossovers are pretty critical."
"Why?"
At that point my brain broke. "They just are." I don't know, ask the damn coach!
"All her friends are Delta now. It's so frustrating."
"You have to learn crossovers, it can't be skipped. She'll get there."
Then mom looks back at Stitch. "He's so good. How did he get so good? Does he play hockey?"
"No, he just figure skates. But he skates all the time."
"When you say that, what do you mean?"
"He averages six hours a week."
"Oh, so six days a week."
"No, he does an hour's worth of lessons, group and private, and the rest is public skating sessions on weekends."
"What's better, Group or Private lessons?"
Shit, really? "I like doing both."
"But what's better?"
URGH. "If she's having issues with crossovers, then Privates are perfect just for helping with that. Beyond that, it depends on what she wants."
Other Mom didn't like this answer. She glared at Stitch.
"Just bring her to skate," I tried a peace offering. "Just turn her loose on public ice to gain confidence."
"She's already confident."
Clearly, Daughter was not, as her outside edges were short and wobbly. Agan, I totally sympathize, but if you want to do crossovers, you have to jump that gap.
Folks, I don't have any magic buttons or pills that I'm giving Stitch. He just likes to skate, so I bring him to skate. He doesn't always like lessons, but I remind him that if he wants those patches and trophies, then lessons and practice are the only way to get them. And you, Other Parents, if you want your kid to fly around the rink and cavort, then letting them loose is how you do it.
1. But we live far away. (Well, then you've made the decision for your kid without even asking him.)
2. But I work. (Hey, I work, too. I work 45-50 hours a week at a sometimes emotionally draining gig that leaves me limp and dragging by Thursday. But this isn't about you. Suck it up.)
3. But all they do is skate around. (Yes, getting kids to actually practice is hard. But from Tot to Beta, I don't think it matters much. Just skate. Play. Go fast. And you know what? Eventually going around in circles will get boring, at which point they'll begin challenging themselves or decide skating isn't for them. The decision makes itself.)
4. But he/she already does soccer/baseball/cheer/school play/swimming/tennis/pottery/Mandarin. His/her schedule is packed already, there's no time for practice. (Again, you're making decisions without asking the kid. If Daughter has been trying her darndest for thirty weeks to get crossovers, then maybe you two need to sit and discuss where Skating sits on her priorities. If it's high, and it seems to be, cut something to make room.)
5. But what am I supposed to do? (Did you know actively skating burns an incredible amount of calories? And again, this isn't about you. Just don't bug your kid excessively when you skate together. Go your separate ways.)
So, Other Parents, you can hate me all you want, but my only "Secret" is Skate a Lot. Stop whining, stop making excuses, stop being a drag, and just get to public skate sessions and go. If you don't, you've ended everything before you ever really started.
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