Thursday, March 3, 2011

Sanity in the Stands

Last night I got stuck between two skate moms.

Now, I enjoy a good gossip, probably more than I should. But the constant level and degree of veracity that these two were keeping up left me looking up into the ceiling trussing. Someone should go up there with needle and thread to patch the insulation. I'll do it if it will get me away from these two.

At one point I was even defending Stitch about his weak left side, and at another I was fuming at the concept of having boys in the synchro team "to do the lifting." (Not because they can skate.) I heard about every Coach in the room, some not in the room, crap music choices (which I'll freely rail about in relative private but never in the rink) and how I'm "still" doing Group Lessons below the freestyle level. They even knew about how I was considering a Coaching Switch so long ago, and wanted to know why I didn't. I think I disappointed them with my answer, "Because I like Coach so much, and so does Stitch even if he doesn't quite see it yet." (Have a seven year old boy and you'll understand.)

No, I didn't find out some wicked scandal about Other Coach. Sorry.

Little do these Ladies know that I was trained by the Masters of Social Grace and Gossip. The best way to keep yourself out of these conversations, especially when they happen outside of your presence, is to keep your nose clean. Yes, have opinions, have thoughts and feelings, but limit what you do and say in and around the venue. When you're in these conversations about others, don't forget that whatever you say can and will be held against you. So, when a Coach got compared to a Little Viper, I didn't say, "Oh my gosh, yes, she's awful," I simply said, "That's too bad." When another Coach's music choices got slammed, I replied that perhaps the mother should cut music if she wasn't happy.

I didn't demand to know when another Coach got his two medals, because I've been looking for this information for days and can't find it. (Although I did find some awesomely hysterical pictures.) I knew that had the potential of getting back to Coach, and leave Coach wondering why I wanted to know and if I was debating switching. Of course I'm not, but don't open that window. Ya know?

I kept a smile on in the rink and on the way home. Stitch was excited to be in costume, bouncing and spinning and getting excited. I'm glad he did, because I now see where I need to do repairs and touch up work. But I was mad. How dare these women question my choices, Stitch's skating, and tell me he should be in Synchro just to pick up their daughter? Who are they to say that they sometimes have to speak to their Coach "like a child?"

I'm starting to think that the moms who drop their kids off at the door and depart for a coffee elsewhere have the right idea.


  1. Synchro teams with men in them do have much better lifts. But usually they look like they are in their early 20s. And yes the men have to do all the skating skills.

  2. I'm sure those teams have great lifts, just like men on cheer teams can throw the girls higher. But if someone is going to approach me about my son being on any team, they need to speak to me in a way that is respectful of his personage and skills, not as hardware.