Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Tipper: Morning Skating Lessons make for Long Days

I'm a morning person. I can wake up at 5:30 without an alarm without an issue. But I've done two morning skating lessons now, both at 8am and found myself completely shot by 3pm. I just don't get it. It really throws a kink into my thoughts about getting Practice Ice at 6am some mornings next month.

Stitch and Coach got the big ice to themselves this morning. Coach worked him on some stretches, lots of crossovers, backwards spirals, and I froze to death. She told us to watch for her at the ISU Grand Prix event this weekend, and I said we would.

We've been watching more skating lately. If I have it on in the background, Stitch will wander in and out, watching as he wants to. That's fine with me, I think of it as Subliminal Messaging. The more skating I watch, both Big and Small League, the more I'm seeing. I'm learning what's good and what's bad. Good posture versus sloppy stances. Big smiles versus expressions of "oh god please let this end." Big jumps, bad falls and what makes a big jump into a tragedy. I'm almost to a point where I know who is going to make that jump, who won't, when to hold my breath, and the magic moment when a routine is suddenly all downhill. I've seen good spirals, bad edges, and how fast a run in tights will go when pulled into a layback spin. Don't be fooled, I still can't tell anyone which is a toe loop and which is a flip, I more watch skating like I watch NASCAR.

I'm also learning what I don't like. We mostly watch men's skating, as Stitch doesn't like the Ladies. (Sorry, ladies.)

I don't like Asymmetrical costumes on men.(The half butt flap on the half tuxedo tops especially. It's like an ass flag when they spin.)
I don't like Bodysuits on men. (Too easy to get carried away with Teh Artz.)
I don't like Flesh Colored Spandex. (It never matches.)
I don't like fringe on arms. (HATE fringe or fluff on one arm only.)
I don't like high and stiff collars. (If you're going to dress as Ming the Merciless, you might as well get a damn ray gun.)
I don't like The Traffic Cone. (Sticking your ass in the air on a spin is not attractive.)
I don't like ungainly positions.(See above.)
I don't like schizophrenic music. (Just... pick a piece. Stick with it. Please.)
I don't like muzac as skating music. (Don't get me all excited thinking you're going to skate to "Paint it Black" and it's the instrumental version I hear while waiting in line at the Perkins.)
I don't like five o'clock shadows on skaters. (They look especially silly when wearing a purple and gold bodysuit.)
I don't like overdone facial expressions. (Jeremy, Stitch loves you, but I honestly think you're having a stroke out there.)
I don't like Standstill Choreography. (More skatey, less dancey.)
I don't like Pantomime. (Don't, don't, don't "play the piano" during your routine. Third grade was years ago.)
I don't like the OMG ONE BRIGHT AND SHINY GLOVE look. (Looking at you, Patrick Chan.)

Other observations I've made?

Jeremy Abbott looks like an accountant.

Coach wants music when she gets back. No problem. I can probably leave that in her mailbox at the rink on Sunday. She also says she needs to "figure out" what level to place him at for the USFSA Basic Skills in January. (Turns out I got my competitions reversed. USFSA will be in late January.) I'm guessing Basic 3 with a Half twist.

Tomorrow is Eating Day, so no Skating. Friday we'll probably hit the Public Ice, and Saturday is Ice Show rehearsal. I have a lot of sewing to do, and I'm glad that I got as far as I did with the new competition shirts. It's a lot of work and headache behind me.

I seem to be catching my second wind finally. If this morning skating is going to become a part of the routine, I need to harken back to my barista days and get used to seeing the dawn. Time for a beer.

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