I've stated before that I wasn't in the mood for Christmas. We're ten days out and this hasn't changed.
Typically I don't enter malls or stores after December first. I don't like crowds of annoying people, so I have to do all my shopping online. It hit me that I'd better get off my duff or I'd be paying expedited shipping. While I was ordering the various electronics kits and science stuff, I was trying to nail down why I wasn't in the mood.
It's the damn skating.
Yup, the biggest holiday of the year and I don't give a shit because he has a competition the following month that I think is more important. Screw the tree, screw the tinsel, forget the candy and I haven't bothered to listen to a single carol because I'm thinking of how to better cut his skating music.
I'm Buddhist, so a holiday that revolves around presents kind of irks me anyway, but honestly my thought process has been so damn skewed by public ice, practice ice schedules, lessons and coaches that my eyes just kind of glaze over anything not skating related. I'm annoyed that both Christmas and New Year fall on a Saturday and the rink is closed. How stupid is that? Christmas has become an unnecesary bump on my calendar.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Of course I have kept these feelings from Stitch. I've promised that this weekend we will finally get a tree. I will put on my hap-hap-happiest face as we drag out the decorations and sing stupid carols. I'll watch Polar Express on an endless loop until Tom Hanks invades my dreams with his creepy computer animated face doing double lutzes and haircutter spins. I might even go completely nuts and make gingerbread men, to which I may or may not subconciously apply skates with royal icing and sanding sugar. I will watch old Rankin Bass specials and not point out to Stitch that it kind of looks like the claymation Kringle and the Winter Warlock are skating during the chorus of "Put one foot in front of the other." I will not loop the skating scene in Charlie Brown's Christmas Special.
I will get over myself.